Measuring the fish in the dating pool

We all know that fishermen need to measure the size of the fish they catch to decide whether they eat it or throw it back in. Over fishing and killing the smaller fish could be disastrous for the ocean. Some of them use a measuring instrument and others perhaps just a visual or gut instinct. We all size up the fish in the dating pool too. Men want banter, flanter, naked pics, sex talk, but no smart asses! Ladies may want the same but we are also sizing up trustworthiness, reliability, stability, and potential match.

My physical and virtual size changes all the time. I tend to go between nice girl, smart ass or even try the dirty talk but ultimately seek to find someone that doesn’t have to try so hard and neither do I. A natural balance between them all. A perfect sized fish.

These fish threw me back in the ocean and after ‘talking’ for awhile, simply deleted me!

“Must like high horses horse riding. Send photo of horse”

-So I did!

“30% of women will go to a strangers house. 10% can be persuaded.”

-Clearly I was in the 60%

Where am I sending my pics to….. but half the fun is in the unwrapping.”

“I’m half drunk lets be silly, play along send nudes”

I threw these fish back in-

“Fifty shades of grey would be a 3/10 compared to what I like”

“I prefer to lick than stick”

“You’re not bad good looking and can hold a conversation, you should be getting a lot more action”

“Do you want to come to a swingers party?”

-Yep, you read right. Not only had we never met before, but he was asking me to have sex with other strangers!

“You have a lot of dog pictures on your profile, is that an indication of how you like it?”.

-Yeah my dog can bite your dick off.

We are measuring each other up all the time. I try not to always judge the book by the cover but I do judge the stupid comments that guys make. Don’t be a douche bag, one day karma will bite you in the bum like a piranha.

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