I currently work as a Primary Teacher but my previous career was in Recruitment and Human Resources so I can talk to anyone, about anything! However it’s not a good sign when I hold up the conversation from both ends during a date. Maybe I over talk because of nerves. I think it’s also an indication that my date isn’t that into me. It’s certainly telling when they don’t ask me as many questions or can’t be bothered asking me anything!
I recently met a man for a date in the park walking our dogs and conversation flowed as we got to know each other. However I realised I was doing it again. I was asking all the questions. Telling him things without being asked.
We were talking about street art and making connections, I offered up that I have two tattoos. Let’s think about the art of conversation….he might ask….
Where are they?
What are they of?
Why did you get them?
But instead….. nothing!
The date continued on and we had a few beers but afterwards, I didn’t hear from him again. So to me, who is asking the questions is important.
A lot of online dating and apps now don’t have forms that you have to complete with information to join. The disadvantage with that is that it leaves all the questions to when you match with them!
However the apps that only match you based on questions don’t necessarily find people that you’re attracted to.
Common questioning is
Where do you live?
How long have you been single?
What are you looking for?
Do you want to come to my place or I can come to yours? (Stranger danger)
I’ve also been asked
Do you live alone? (Creepy!)
I just joined Plenty of Fish, POF (again) to see if I would get more conversations and dates than Bumble. POF doesn’t have a location filter but the age range can be applied as well as a lot of fields-
- Body type
- Wants kids, has kids, does not
- Job title
- Income range
- Intent (casual, dating, relationship, marriage),
- Education level
- Smoking status
- Drinking habits
- Personality type
- Star sign
- Eye colour
- Longest relationship
It also shows ‘about me’ and ‘conversation starters’ that they’ve come up with.
I think that soooo much information is supplied, it’s almost harder to start a conversation as you’d look a bit stupid if you ask a getting-to-know-you question about info that’s already been supplied. So does it overcome the basic small talk for status info that Bumble and Tinder takes hours to determine they are the wrong type of fish, or does it create a different problem for conversations? Hopefully it does alleviate the small talk and can fast track to the important stuff.
It tells me that in under 24 hours that 160 guys are interested in me! None have sent me a message to say hi or ask a question 🤔😫😭
With all these info fields available, these 99+ guys are just using the Russian Roulette type swiping feature. Come on guys, put in some effort to getting to know us. We are worth it!