Dating online is similar to life in the ocean with sharks circling their prey and the whirlpools of rubbish that keep getting swept around and around in circles with the currents. Bumble and Tinder dating apps are like Russian Roulette-it’s a seemingly random parade of profiles and pictures that keep popping up for you to choose from. But did you know that if you swipe long enough, you can keep seeing the same guys on the app? I mentioned in my last post that I saw over 20 that I’ve talked to before. And these guys are also on multiple apps.
Each time I join up to a new dating app, my ex pops up! In fact, he’s popped up 3 times on the same app. Even when you swipe left and say no, the same guys seem to come back around again.
On Tinder, people from high school pop up. On Bumble; my sisters ex, an ex colleague, a student’s Dad! And, a friends husband.
Men often send messages and before I respond, send me even more. Don’t be a pest or a predator. Read social cues. I’m all for having a go and putting yourself out there, but one message is enough already. I recently went out on a date and swapped numbers. I said to him, please don’t just text ‘Good morning’, I’m not big on lots of texts that don’t really say anything.
My Mum thinks I’m not trying hard enough to get matches or go on dates. That perhaps I’m too fussy. That I should give more people a go. I explained to a newly single friend that over the years I’ve had a range of flexible criteria that’s all produced undesirable results. #Types of fish
Now, I have to imagine being able to kiss them, or I say no. If I can first ensure I’m into their pics, then I can establish if I’m into their personality. I’d like to do it the other way around but online dating isn’t designed for that. Online dating also takes time! I’d spend all my spare time trying to review their profiles and then get nothing from them in return. But my friend thinks I should be more of a predator and go for it with more of them that have half decent pics and profiles. She joined an app and started recommending her matches to me!
When I’m walking my dog, I don’t want her to stop at EVERY tree or house, we just wouldn’t get anywhere. That’s the same theory I have about online dating. You have to find something to make some quick decisions on, go with your gut instinct and move on to see what happens next.
So who’s hunting who? Well ladies we do need to admit we are huntresses as well.
According to Iliza, we need to slow down a bit and make sure that someone can actually catch us! I think that I’m so used to being by myself I may be a bit like the gazelle that speeds along.
The only reason I don’t like the label ‘gazelle’ is due to my ex housemate who was entertaining a man one night with her sexual prowess and cried out loudly-
“I’m a gazelle!”
When talking to her the next morning I commented-
“You were very loud last night. You must have been having a good time?”
“He was telling me all about his trip to Africa and the animals that he ate.”