There’s a major disconnect between men and women’s expectations and how we communicate. When my first relationship was struggling, I read ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.’ It was so insightful, I asked my partner to read it so we could discuss it and understand each other better. However, when we talked about it, he had interpreted it entirely different!
Craig David sings ‘7 days’ and the song starts off like he’s picking up a ‘lady of the night’ off the street but then he sings about caring for her, she’s a special lady, and can call him any time ”Cause I’m a man who’ll always be there (oh yeah)”.
“I met this girl on Monday.
Took her for a drink on Tuesday.
We were making love by Wednesday.
And then on Thursday and Friday and Saturday.
We chilled on Sunday.”
Women hear things like this and might think If I sleep with him, he will start to care for me. (Even though he’s said he just wants something casual.)
Men hear things like this and might think She’ll be happy to jump into bed with me even if we’ve just met and know nothing about each other.
Online dating turn off’s:
- Bad photos– no smile/no teeth, not showing your eyes (the eyes are the window to the soul!), photos are 10 years old and you no longer look like that, photos of so many men we don’t know which one you are or photos of photos (what the?).
- Messaging multiple times before receiving a reply
- One word answers
- Not asking us any get-to-know-you questions
- Telling us how you like ‘IT’, without being asked (this includes unsolicited D pics)
- Work cover injury (The assumptions are that your job is unsafe, you are unsafe, or you are a con artist)
- Gambling debts (you can’t manage your finances or are addicted, you won’t be able to care for someone else’s life if you can’t manage your own)
- Living at home with your parents because there’s no work available ‘at the moment’ (as above)
- Lack of effort and poor first impression- no eye contact, very casual clothes. A friend once cut off a guy as he wore thongs (flip flops/jandles) to a date.
- Taking more than 3 days to reply. If you are interested, then respond to her messages in a timely manner!
- Anti-Feminist comments such as
“Girls are still single as they are far too independent these days. My (Italian) Mum takes care of the cooking and cleaning and looking after us as she loves it and has good family values.”
*It’s fine if a woman CHOOSES to look after a man. But she can also choose not to. My second relationship failed as I refused to do all the cooking, cleaning, wash and fold his clothes. I didn’t want to be like his Mother. I wanted a partner.
What turns you off??