The best things in life are free…… so they say. Well I’m now a free subscriber to Hinge, a reasonably new dating app. It’s done away with the swipe left or right phenomenon and instead asks you to like, or decline, users pictures and personal information.
For example, IF (come on Geordan, seriously) this was your thing, you would like it and can comment. I guess it’s maybe, very loosely, a conversation starter.
I in-real-life liked this topless picture but know it’s no good for me so hit x on the app.
You get 10 likes a day (America’s day time). This will be good for me so that I can’t go wildly swiping anymore – throwback to 200+ profiles!
I reminded myself that the girl I’d hired in a moment of weakness, the bosomy, loud, tittering niece of Thilda’s, could have oiled the hinges (of the shop). Alberta… was at a long since marriageable, perhaps overripe, age, a pear just a bit too soft that would soon tumble to the ground under the weight of its own juices. She was not in possession of anything else that made her especially attractive, with the exception of said bosom. She was so ripe for the picking that she behaved as if every single person of the male persuasion that stepped in the shop was her intended.
(Maya Lunde, The History of Bees)
Is this me?????
Was the mad swiping of my past an attempt to find any male as my intended?
No, I have to remind myself there was a lot I declined and will continue to decline. But 10 likes a day will keep a lid on things and make sure I pick quality ‘applicants.’
I’m definitely bosomy too. Bosomy makes me picture chubby and very voluptuous, ney, if not, dare I say it, overweight-
But this is the ‘bosomy’ I’d like to be-
Hinge asks for your height, age, location, drinking and smoking preferences and interest in children but NOT your body type. Guess that’s why all the guys feel the need to post topless selfies, gym poses and this app even allows videos! So yep, I’ve already seen topless workouts. Thanks guys.
So I’ve turned online dating into a drinking game. Play along…
Needless to say, probably best to play on a weekend. I drank four beers playing Monday night…. happy fishing!